In the Wrong, In the Way, and Out of Touch...Plus Clink!

From the Miami New Times Letters:


“...I'm not completely surprised that Lee Klein would have been misinformed about a few typical Peruvian dishes he wrote about in his March 20 review of Adriana Restaurant, "Peruvian Chill." First of all, any Peruvian would laugh uncontrollably at his ingredient list for Huancaína sauce. There are variations from one cook to the next, but the sauce never contains mustard, olives, eggs, or flour. Second, lomo saltado does not contain green peppers, unless this was the restaurant's particular version (and it would have been wise for Mr. Klein to have mentioned that). Last, I know very few people of any ethnicity who would say chicha morada is an acquired taste, unless one considers something similar to fruit punch an acquired taste.
Carlos C. Olaechea


See it ain't just me....


Enrique Fernandez of the Miami Herald is a restaurant killer. Anyone who can work the word 'humoresque' into a restaurant review is dangerous. I have $100 that says Two Chefs Too is gone before next Easter. His review is just too good. And by the way, “they have a fairly extensive beer and wine list.” Fairly extensive. Does that mean more extensive than extensive? Or just “I don't know dick about wine”? Of course I could be wrong. And what is with restaurant reviewers mentioning that they don't eat stuff? “The sweet tooth of youth has left me altogether, so I seldom eat dessert unless required. I will report that the brandied peach soufflé is wonderful, and dribbling it with crème anglaise and caramel, as the waitress suggested, is the right thing to do.” As opposed to dribbling it all over your bib? We get it Enrique, you're old. At least Victoria Pesce Elliott still has most of her original teeth. And to then say that “Classically trained, [Chef] Jorgensen has never gone in for froufrou”? I can't think of anything more froufrou than a brandied peach souffle, dad. But maybe you're right Enrique. Perhaps Ferrán Adriá is just a passing fad, not the most accomplished and imitated chef in the world. Wait, you also shoehorned Adriá into a review of TCT? Did I say gone by Easter? Make that Christmas. Which brings me to youth, sweet youth.


I love the Herald's Clink! columnist, Jaweed Kaleem. The best thing about this kid is that you've already traveled around the world twice just by reading his name. Second, you gotta love the guy cause he's a dazzling young urbanite. It's so important in every field to weed out (no pun intended) the tired old farts, and pump up the new brands for the hip doofuses. I consider myself...older, wiser, more...douchey-er, of course; although as a professional writer, I'm still in my infancy. I'm crawling. And youth, as they say, must be served, and the Clink! column is where the kids go for their latest booze instruction. Two weeks ago it was the Vinotini (any drink ending in 'tini is sexy, baby, especially if you're underage), a drink made with like ten ingredients. What is this? Chemistry class? I want to party, not delicately measure orange flower water into beakers. “Where's my drink?” she coo's. “One moment, I'm pasteurizing the egg whites!” he drools.


But how wonderfully fortuitous that last week's drink was the Sapphire Ace, which is made with Bombay Sapphire, a main sponsor of this week's Sony Ericcson Open tennis tournament. Now I like Bombay, I really do. I love all of Bacardi's products, in fact. And I want to get in on some of this cross-sponsorship stuff, because that's where the moona be. So here's my Spring drink, which I call the...
...$THE KASH MARTINI$...
1)Ice Cold Grey Goose Vodka (Biggest Bottle You Can Find)
2)Chilled Martini & Rossi Dry Vermouth (Same)
3)Drink a little from each bottle, until you feel like a Scotch.
4)Grab some Dewar's 12 year-old ( a great Bacardi product)
5)Top the night off with a digestif of some Disaronno Amaretto or Drambuie (both Bacardi's finest) on the rocks.


If you wake up with a hangover, sip a few cold Bacardi Rum Island Ice Tea's. That'll get you right back into the mood to make another cocktail with 10 freakin ingredients and a whip-cream dispenser...(So you know I'm not kidding, here's the drink. If anyone can actually make this at home, I will buy you the whip-its, personally. Wow that brought back a lot of memories. And sour mix? C'mon, that's for lightweights, JD. Ten ingredients and a bottled mix? From Tony Abu-Ganim, the Modern Mixologist-“Mixing 2 parts fresh squeezed lemon juice with one part simple syrup will easily make fresh lemon sour.” Ta-da.)


Next week, the Maroone Milkshake ©


The Vinotini
Mix 2 1/2 ounces pasteurized egg whites, 3 ounces sour mix, 3 ounces pomegranate juice, 2 1/2 ounces fresh grapefruit juice, 1 1/2 ounces sweet vermouth and 1 1/2 ounces Cointreau in a whipped-cream dispenser (see note below).
Combine 1 1/2 ounce grape vodka (e.g., Roth), 1/2 ounce sour mix, 1/2 ounce Cointreau, 1 1/2 ounces whitedessert wine (e.g., Bonny Doon Muscat) and 2 cups ice in a cocktail shaker.
Shake and strain into a chilled martini glass.
Top with a 1/2-inch layer of froth.
Garnish with 3 frozen white grapes on a long pick.
F.Y.I.
The Sonoma Fog is $11.95 at Fleming's, 2525 Ponce de Leon Blvd., Coral Gables; 305-569-7995.
The Whip-It! brand whipped cream dispenser is $40-$50 at amazon.com and other online retailers